Jersey Shore Season 5 (01/05/2012)
New Years is a time for reassessment and re-focus, getting into new habits and breaking old destructive ones. This might be why there has been the absolutely zero buzz about the new season of Jersey Shore. More than likely, this is The Situation and crew’s final cling to their shot-lived and never deserved fame. They’ll push hard for your attention with new story lines, new hook ups, new fights, but in the end they will crash and burn, the way everyone predicted from the start, before we all got hooked.
It sounds awful I know, but for those of you like us who have invested way more time into this show than we’ll feel comfortable admitting to our children, isn’t experiencing the one true end that we’ve always secretly hoped for the right thing to do? Watching The Situation literally pull drama-inducing circumstances out of thin air in a desperate claw for ratings might just be the tonic I need to soothe my soul, clear my conciseness of this awful era of man where the lowest forms of humanity and class were treated like A-list celebrities. I’m getting away from myself here, but if you need some proof that MTV is running out of ideas, one of the episodes in Season 5 is named “Polizzi Visit.” Maybe I’ll just watch that one.