Hofstra UniversitySex and Relationships

Steps To Hooking Up With Your Boss (And Other Authority Figures)

Seducing authority figures

We’ve all done it. We’ve all had fantasies about the authority figures in our lives who are at least somewhat attractive and mildly young. That professor who has the charisma of a great lover. The boss who calls you into his office and, for just a moment, you imagine throwing everything that’s on the desk onto the floor and throwing him on top. But I’m getting ahead of myself. There are certain steps to take to help you get it in with your boss, professor, and whoever else in your life who has that bit of sexy power over your circumstances. These steps are risky, and should only be taken with unattached power figures to ensure the minimum amount of baggage possible. Read the steps after the jump.

Slight Sexual Innuendos

Sexual innuendos

These are classic, and can work with just about anyone. It’s the kind of thing where no one can necessarily accuse you of saying something sexual, but you both know it happened. For example, something like, “Your lecture yesterday really blew my mind…I was up all night thinking about it.” No matter what, his first thought will be sexual, but as an authority figure, his instinct is to push that thought out of his mind. This is why you must make sure to hold eye contact, smile, look down (maybe at your boobs), then look back up at him. He won’t know what to think, but guaranteed, you’re on his mind now.

The Light Touch of the Muscles

Boss and employee talking

Any chance you get, whether it be greeting him, walking behind him, or whatever it may be, always be sure to lightly touch his arm muscles as you’re walking by him. This slight touch, especially if you have chemistry, will make him momentarily, intensely aware a young, sexy girl is touching his arm muscles. After doing this several times, be sure to say, “Wow, have you been working out? You’re so strong…looking good boss.” Winks are always a nice touch.

Go to “Extra Help” and “Personal Tutoring”

sexy professor

Especially when it comes to professors, the only times you can guarantee the two of you will be alone is if you purposely stay after class (there will always be overachievers who come early) and if you go in for “personal tutoring.” This is the time. This is the ultimate candy for the slutty student. This half-hour period of “extra help” is the time where you get to be one-on-one with your future one night stand. Instead of sitting in the chair in front of his desk, walk behind the desk, lean in, and point to what you’re having trouble with. Be sure to wear your most seductive perfume that is guaranteed to make him at least get some wood. But the most important thing about this time right after the perfume? Lingering eye contact. Always lock eyes for just one more moment. This inappropriate amount of locking eyes is guaranteed to show him you’re looking for some help in other areas of life.

Another option is to ask if they do at-home tutoring. You’re most comfortable studying in your bedroom and would prefer learning there.

Always Volunteer To Help

Sexy male teacher

If your boss ever says, “Can you pick up this shift? It’d really help me out.” Or if your professor says, “I need someone to drop this letter off after class at this place…” Always volunteer, and this is what your response should be: “I’ll do it…I’m your girl…for anything you might need.” Then there will be a moment (there’s always a moment) where he looks at you because he noticed your tone. You wink, and walk away.

Invite Them to an Inappropriate Event

Teacher and student having drinks

This is a tricky one since it will always seem like a joke (so the real trick is, showing it’s not a joke). Invite your boss, professor, whoever to a really inappropriate event. Examples include: romantic comedies or sexual films, keg parties, your birthday party, and a rowdy bar after work where you happen to be wearing the skankiest outfit you own. At first he will, of course, decline your invitation out of obligation. This is when you say, “What a shame…I would have definitely shown you a good time.” After several run-ins like this, there will come a time when he will accept your invitation. This will probably be due to a semi-midlife crisis or a really bad day or break-up, but who cares what the reason is? Eventually, he will accompany you to at least one of these inappropriate places.

Ask Their Help for Inappropriate Things

professor editing something

This somewhat goes along with the last tip. If the authority figure in question is your professor, ask him if he could help you out by editing some of your work. After he says yes, hand him the erotic novel you’re working on or the Penthouse letters you’ve been writing (letters documenting sexual experiences). If he’s your boss, ask him if the pants you’re wearing is making your ass look larger than usual, or if he can massage the mid of your back. Be sure to moan just a bit as he’s doing so and tell him what great hands he has.

Always, Always Remind Him He’s in Control

sexy teacher

This is something really important to this whole situation. Men love feeling in control (though we all know, ladies, they never really are in control anyway). Call him “boss” or “professor” whenever you can, always with a strong hint of seduction. Remind him how powerful he is, and how you love working and being underneath him.

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