campus diva

This is your Captain (Morgan) speaking and I’m here to tell you about the simple little things you can do to severely increase your chances of getting it in – even during finals week when the entire girl population is locked away in the library. From manscaping to morning sex, these tips require little to no skill and maybe a few dollars out of your wallet but sometimes you’ve got to pay a tiny little price if you want that shiny golden wrapper in there to ever see some action.

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This only happened last night, and it’s already going crazy viral. So the story goes that this girl, a CSUN student, got angry over people “breathing too loudly” in the library, and had a nervous breakdown in front of everyone. Now her psychotic episode is all over the Interwebs. We all understand that it’s finals week, but come on girl, you can’t take yourself so seriously. Chill out and stop whisper screaming already.

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