As I mourn the closing of one of the finest eras in action television with the upcoming series finale of 24 (fittingly on Monday, May 24), I cannot help but the think of the tremendous void that will be left in my life without the weekly serving of stone cold justice dished out by CTU Agent Jack Bauer. As I savor the last few hours of 24’s final day, I understand that the time has come to move on and find a new TV hero. But, before we close the book on 24, I must take a moment to pay homage to an individual whom without there would be no Jack Bauer. Yes, I’m talking about you Chuck Norris. Chuck, you 70-year-old martial arts dynamo, you have inspired today’s generation of ass-kicking and buddy, this is your life (summarized in 10 priceless contributions to society).
10. The Total Gym – Have you ever actually used the total gym? This thing is a miracle of modern science. It actually does offer a tremendous good work out. Then again, what else would you expect from the man? I don’t want to live in a world where Chuck would lie to us about effectiveness of a product that he endorses.
9. Lone Wolf McQuade – Just watch the trailer. Hopefully the Walker, Texas Ranger people paid royalties based on their outright theft of this movie’s plot to come up with a TV show.
8. Chuck Norris Karate Commandos – Hopefully, you’ve seen this before. If not, I would advise sitting tight for the next 3 minutes.
7. Super Chuck Norris Brothers – Okay, Chuck didn’t actually do this, but it’s pretty sweet and no doubt within his skill set.
6. Chuck Norris reading Chuck Norris facts – You can’t say this guy isn’t a good sport. Some may grow tired of the jokes, but you can’t tire of Chuck reading them.
Come back to The Campus Socialite on Wednesday to check out Chuck’s five finest moments or be prepared to face the wrath of an earth-shattering roundhouse kick.