By: Bryan Dumas
After a few days away from the spotlight, The Campus Don is back to put all the ladies’ minds at ease. Check out his latest installment below…
Staying friends with my ex-boyfriend… is this kosher?
No way Jose. Since we’re using kosher references, in my mind, staying friends with the ex is pork to a healthy relationship…not kosher at all. I won’t be pleased when Captain Has-been shows up while we’re out having a good time. He’s an ex for a reason. For his sake, I don’t want him to get jealous when he sees me make you smile more than he ever did. Nor do I want you to get pissy and ruin my night because you saw him making out with another girl, despite the fact that you guys are “just friends.” I’m not saying you should burn bridges, and there’s no reason exes can’t be civil. But do not think it’s cool to call him and ask what you should get me for my birthday.
If I send you naked pictures, what do you actually do with them?
Import them into iPhoto, adjust the settings to make them look their best, and then keep them in a safe place until I really miss you. When I do miss you, I run the slide show and rub one out.
Now if you cheat on me, or we’re not together and you start spreading nasty lies about me, then I’ll break those photos out and show my boys one night while we’re pregaming so that when we see you at the bar later everyone will know about that tattoo on your butt that you got on Spring Break..What happens in Cancun stays in stays in Cancun..until you start acting up and then we get TMZ-ish on that ass.
Why are guys obsessed with 3 ways? Does that mean they are bored with me?
Men like threesomes because we men like to dream big and overindulge ourselves. We eat more than we need to, drink more than we need to, and want to have more sex than we can handle. What guy doesn’t want to be wealthy, own an exotic sports car, and bang two beautiful women at the same time? They are all part of the fantasies that men have. And no, it does not mean we’re bored with you…not by a long shot. If I were bored with you I would just think about screwing another girl and not even include you in the picture. Look at it this way ladies, why would you only go on a shopping spree at Ferragamo when you could have a spree at Ferragamo AND Christian Louboutin?? For guys, that’s what a ménage a trois would be like.
Girls, keep the questions coming in the comment box below and you can be sure that The Campus Don will treat all of them with the thorough attention that they deserve. See you back here next week.