By: Julian Patterson
Fall is just around the corner, which means school is back in session. Back to school means tons of concerts and festivities, of course. Here are some people you should avoid when you hit up your school’s big fall concert.
The Drunken Person Shouting Song Requests
How annoying is it when you’re trying to enjoy the concert and there is a drunken moron behind you screaming for a particular song? Seriously, we get it. You are a die-hard fan who has a weird obsession with one or two of the songs. Screaming at the top of your lungs isn’t going to get the band’s attention. Be patient and enjoy the concert like everybody else.
People in the front who look bored and hardly amused
These people are the worst. They stand in the front row staring at the stage like they’re at Catholic Mass on Sunday morning. Unfold your arms and look alive, or at least do something to pretend like you’re having a good time. There are thousands of people who would kill you for your spot! Get over yourself and loosen up.
People who spend most of their time pushing their way to the front.
These people are constantly on the move. They’ll do almost anything to get to the front row: weaving through the crowd, circumventing large groups of people, climbing over small children, etc. They have no shame in their strategy. Sometimes they fail. Sometimes they succeed. Either way, the thrill of the chase keeps them coming back for more.
People in the front row that let people behind them into the front row
Standing in the front row isn’t for the faint of heart. These people often lack the grit and determination required to keep their spot in the front. They don’t realize that you have to establish your personal space early so that you aren’t in the eighth row by the end of the night. Furthermore, warding off pushy enthusiasts and relentless scavengers isn’t necessarily the biggest concern. After heavy pre gaming, fighting the urge to pee is crucial. Many succumb to the excruciating pressure on your bladder and book it to the nearest porta potty.
People who know every lyric to every song
We get it. You’re a really big fan and have had enough free time on your hands to listen to every song a ridiculous amount of times. Who knows, you might have even gone online and looked up the lyrics. However, knowing all the lyrics to the songs doesn’t make you a bigger fan than the next person. It just shows that you don’t have anything better to do and you’re pretty good at memorizing poetic passages of medium length.
People who wear band t-shirts to the concert
It’s one thing to wear your favorite team or player’s jersey at a sporting event. It’s another thing to wear a band t-shirt to a concert. There’s nothing more annoying than teenage girls and soccer moms wearing Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift t-shirts to Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift concerts. Let’s not get too carried away. Loose the band tee.
People on their phone all the time
People who spend most of their time staring into their BlackBerry or iPhone are obviously confused. You’re at a raging concert, no a boring lecture hall! Twitter, Facebook, and BBM are addictive, but there’s no need to miss a great show because you feel the need to update your status constantly or wait to see if your friend has opened your BBM. Being too cool for school was never cool in the first place.
People who invade your personal space
These people are usually too drunk to know or care that they have been bumping in to you and spilling beer on your shirt the whole time. However, personal space can be thrown out the window sometimes, especially at small venues where a lot of people are packed into a tight space. Nevertheless, the last thing you want is a gross and repulsively drunk person grinding up on you and breathing down your neck while you are trying to enjoy the concert.
The couple making out the whole time
It’s a concert, not a motel with hourly rates. It is evident that these people are in lust and very liberal when it comes to PDA, but some things are best kept in the privacy of your parents’ basement. Making out is a fun activity that people should indulge in every once in a while. But, making out the entire concert is overkill. These people clearly don’t understand that there’s a time and place for everything.
People who dance too aggressively to mellow music
These people often look very foolish when they are fist pumping while everybody else is kicking back and enjoying a mellow tune. This type of behavior can be attributed to substance abuse more often than not. You’ll know this person when you see them. If not, other people will be pointing and laughing, shaking their head, or both at this person’s drunken display.
People who cause a scene because they are too drunk
Often referred to as “that girl” or “that guy,” this person has pregamed so hard that they are stumbling around and incoherent before the concert even starts. In most cases this person ends up projectile vomiting, passing out, injuring themselves, or all the above. Usually they are escorted out of the venue by event security and left to fend for themselves in their blacked out state. This person always ruins their friends’ night—total buzz kill.
People who freak out and/or cry when their favorite artist takes the stage
Crying uncontrollably when the headliner walks out onto the stage? Some people need to get a grip on their lives. You would think that some of these people had just witnessed a life changing sequence of events by the way they are sobbing. Kanye West says, “no one man should have all that power.” But if one man does have the power to melt the hearts of millions, his name is Justin Bieber.
People who fart
This person is quiet and often someone you wouldn’t suspect. When you smell it, it is awful. Immediately you cover your moth and nose with your shirt and look around for the culprit. The fact that it’s hot, sweaty, and cramped quarters doesn’t help either. This is undoubtedly one of the cruelest things a person can do at a concert. This person should face an automatic lifetime ban for disgusting and inconsiderate behavior. We understand that stuff happens, but some things are unforgivable.
