By Finn Finkel
Most, if not all, college students face the dilemma at some point during their collegiate career of deciding whether or not to take a semester off. Whether you don’t know what you want to major in, or you’re not feeling your school choice, it’s a more serious decision than you’d initially think. I have outlined some of the pros and cons to make your thought process a little easier.
PROS
Food: HOORAH!! No more meal cards that always end with me peeing out of my butt. Awesome home cooked meals is one of the most irrefutable claims known to man. Hungry and it’s really late? Damn, I haven’t bought a single grocery in weeks… but my two roommates, Mom and Dad, sure have been busy.
Clean Bathrooms: Taking a shower without having to wear sandals is something truly under-appreciated. It’s also nice to know for certain that when I walk into my bathroom, the floor won’t have splotches of dried urine. It’s tough to control that morning wood.
No Classes: I mean, this is pretty damn self-explanatory. Yeah, great classes and professors are out there but they are few and far between. If you can’t figure out why this is a pro, you probably haven’t had any formal schooling and won’t be going to college, sorry.
Self Realization: Do you. Chances are, you still have a good portion of your life ahead of you, unless in the short amount of time spent at college you have irreparably damaged your liver and lungs. I’d rather waste a few years truly figuring out what I want to do rather than rush into something and feel trapped.
CONS
Lady Friends: You go from hundreds of eager, ripe vaginas to whatever your local town has going on. Don’t get me wrong, your hometown could be solid, but you just can’t beat sheer numbers. Also, you can’t exactly be bringing slampigs back to do the deed right next door to your mom and pops.
Partying: You aren’t in school, so now all of a sudden, for some reason, it isn’t socially acceptable to pass out in a bath tub covered in vomit? What is this nonsense, the real world can frickin suck it.
The Roommates: Despite their generous offers to get your car bed some sweet rims or a C.B. radio so you can talk to other car beds, this does not make up for the fact that they are always watching. Having an extra set of eyes watching what you do and judging you are never welcoming. All of a sudden, someone’s asking what time you’re gonna be home? Fuck that.
Free Time: This could be viewed as pro to some, but having too much free time is never a good thing. It allows you to pick up highly-valued trade skills consisting of surfing the interwebs, being really sweet at watching television, and an addiction to porn. Trust me when I say a little structure is a good thing.
Hopefully these extremely well, thought-out points will allow you to properly weigh your options. Just don’t forget who you are making the decision for. You’re numero uno here.
