By: Jessica Ariel (University of Miami)
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Alright boys start taking notes… because this one’s for you! Too Serious
Dates are supposed to be a fun, exciting way to get to know someone…so don’t be so uptight, otherwise it will be “goodnight”. If you sit through dinner without a laugh, smile or even an attempt at a bad joke, you’ll have us wondering WHYYYYY SOOOOOO SERIIIIIIOUUUUSSSS???
Why don’t I just replace my face with a mirror? You might enjoy yourself a little more. Mr. Narcissistic has a tendency to drone on about himself and only himself for the duration of your date. You start to bring something up about yourself…oh wait that reminds him… did he ever tell you about the time when he did something completely unrelated to what you were just talking about but it’s been one whole minute since the last time he spoke and his voice is so overpowering you’re forced to shut up and listen anyways? Uh-huh. So, let’s do this again sometime? No, thank you.
These days, going Dutch is absolutely acceptable, especially in our current economic state. We have no problem throwing down for our half of an expensive meal if we both agree upon the restaurant. It’s also an entirely different story if we ask you out on the date, then of course we’ll foot the bill. But, if you invite us to a late-night movie, get up to the ticket window and say, “One please,” we’ll be scratching our heads wondering if we misread your signals. If you take us out for a drink, we expect that you’ll be picking up the tab, after all, the guy at the table next to us has offered to do it three times already.
This is a big one! There is nothing more undesirable in a guy than a lack of confidence. If you’re sulking in a corner or you look unapproachable, you might as well pack it in and call it a night.
Boys, I promise you, this isn’t us be being picky; we’re not expecting you to be a Rhodes scholar or anything like that. It’s just that when you send over a text message saying your beautiful, instead of you’re beautiful, we’re too busy cringing over the grammar blunder to feel flattered by your compliment. Be particularly wary, guys, when asking a girl on a date! I’m sure that I would love to meet you there tomorrow, if your message didn’t read “will you meet me their tomorrow?” Yikes! Come on, doesn’t your phone have a spell-check?
We love your back, there’s just something so incredibly hot about a defined, muscular one. And we want to see your banging body, minus the sweater that appears to be glued to it. It has a way of killing the mood. A little tip… if you’re into the whole nails down the back kinda thing… bear in mind that the level of sexiness can drop quite rapidly if a smooth, passionate glide runs into some road bumps i.e. hair follicles. Keep it clean, boys.
Girls kind of have a bad rap with this one, but guys, you’re guilty here as well. You tend to fall into this pattern right after we first meet. Suddenly our phones are blowing up with message after message asking when you can see us next. It’s flattering, but honey, saran wrap is the only thing that should be doing that much clinging on. It’s nice to know that you are thinking of us, and we love that you care, but if you’re checking in more often than our moms do, there isn’t going to be much of a future. Play a little hard to get, we like it as much as you do.
I think this pretty much goes without saying and thankfully, it can easily be remedied. We’re looking to make out with you, without feeling like we consumed the alcohol you just drank. Carry some gum in your pocket, and we’ll be good to go.
There was a time when cigarettes played into the whole bad boy persona, thank you James Dean and Danny Zuko. Now, they are probably one of the biggest turn offs ever. Who wants to date or even be near a guy who is puffing a cloud of suffocating, carcinogenic smoke in your face every two minutes? Anyone?
So you meet the hottest guy in the bar, have undeniable chemistry that leads up to an inevitable make out sesh. But wait; did he really just poke your FACE with his TONGUE? What was it doing over by your chin? Disastrous. Too much tongue, not enough tongue, ouch my lip is attached to my face ya know…whatever the situation; a bad kisser is a deal breaker. SMH.
Coming Soon: The Top 10 Biggest Turn-Ons