Courtesy of Miggity of The Ultimate Hatelist
There are many things in this world that are inherently difficult; for example running a marathon, checking your fantasy team at work without getting caught and learning to use the mouse with your left hand so you can continue to beat off while seamlessly navigating through several different pornographic website free trials. Changing the channel of a TV, however, should not be one of them.
It seems no matter what bar I am at changing the channel is always a huge ordeal. The bar has seven TVs playing a muted episode of PTI while you are begging them to put on the playoff game you bet your prized Rocksteady and Bebop action figures on. 15 game minutes later, three bartenders start fumbling around with 12 remotes searching on a piece of paper for what channel FOX is while changing every TV except the one you are sitting by. It’s kind of like when I awkwardly prod my fingers around the inside a women’s hoo-ha while constantly searching for a facial expression that doesn’t look pissed. Then, five minutes after they finally get the game playing on the non-HD channel with the closed captioning blocking the score, the channel starts randomly changing again because the same bartender is trying to find a high school soccer game that some douche came to watch. I swear, this exact sequence of events happens literally every time. If I ended up on the news for murdering a bar full of people, do you think the bar you were at would be able to put it on? And for the record, the Stanley Cup finals take priority over a June Devil Rays game (just ask these superfans).
Honorable Mention: The fact that so many bars have flat screen TVs that aren’t in HD. I know I make a big deal out of HD stuff a lot, but why the hell would you buy the HDTV and not the get the service? It’s like a level 70 Call of Duty Player buying condoms. Why don’t you just stop by my grandma’s house and take her ’93 Zenith instead?
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