By The Birdman
It’s time to strap on those workboots, hike up those dirty Levis, throw on the leather jacket, and head out to the movies to see the testosterone overdose-inducing film The Expendables. When one thinks of the heavy-duty asskicking on the big screen a few names come to mind: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li. Check, Check and motherfucking CHECK! Yup, the producers have somehow managed to cram this much awesomeness into a single reel of film. The best part is that this cast of skull crushing maniacs keeps going: Dolph Lundgren (yes the Russian from Rocky), Randy Couture, Steve Austin, Mickey Rourke, and the dastardly evil Eric Roberts.
You may ask “Birdman, do you think this film will deliver?” HELL YES I DO! Just the shots from this trailer sent me from 6 to midnight on the MURDER BONER SCALE! Guns! Explosions! Martial Arts! Slow Motion! What else do you need people?! I’m not even going to talk anymore, just watch the damned trailer!
WARNING SIDE EFFECTS MAY INCUDE: Increased aggression, urge to jump off of high things, pyromania, attempts at hand to hand combat, slurred “Sly Stallone” impressions, excessive chest hair growth