By: Rock Comedian Brian Smith
When are you going to learn that there are some girls out there who take sex VERY seriously? When a girl says “don’t cum in me” while you’re having sex, that often means please don’t blow a huge load inside of my vagina. But hey, we’re guys. We’re good at not listening. And shit happens, as evidenced by this young college girl who’s “friend” didn’t pay too much attention to her kind requests while getting slammed from behind.
*** All Names have been changed to help keep our sources anonymous. This is 100% real and 100% Hilarious***
I don’t think you realize the seriousness of the situation. Sorry to burst your bubble but this is not an episode of Friends, The Hills or The City. This is real life. A few things you should understand:
1. I am NOT on birth control.
2. You came twice in me (when I asked you not to) – and third time your condom with cum in it was stuck inside of me.
3. By all senses of logic and probability I am bearing your child.
4. I don’t know how you can sleep with yourself at night.
5. This is not funny at all.
6. You had the audacity to tell me via text that your friend James was upset because he stepped on a condom in the shower. (Maybe you should let James know if that condom didn’t come out of me… Well, he’d be a lovely Godfather).
Seriously, Chuck? It was really inappropriate and irresponsible. I’ve never heard ANYONE to find pregnancy humorous at age 21. It was disrespectful and stupid. It was a blatant disregard of common sense. Maybe one of your real hoes or sluts would find this funny and be cool with the situation, but, I am not at all. As I have mentioned, I don’t sleep around and only intimate with someone of significance in my life. Do you not see how this situation freaks me out? Think about it.
By the way there is nothing “legendary” about what happened or fathering a child at 21. I hope you start saving your money just in case I have to hit you up for child support hun. I really don’t know what else to say to you. In this type of situation, it’s not just like you pissed my bed… There could be another human being growing inside of me….So…. It’s not just like I can never talk to you again – I am trying to be responsible. I took the stupid pill and feel like shit and you think it doesn’t affect you, it does. For some strange reason I thought we were friends and I could trust you. It’s apparent I was mislead. I would say thanks for a great weekend but I am disgusted and disappointed.