So here I am, bullshitting on the computer while I watch Dallas hopefully win its first NBA Championship, and all of the sudden, I stumble upon this bit of gold from overseas. The UK has its own Jersey Shore, and it’s called Geordie Shore! Are people of aware of this? How could this have slipped by me? I mean, no doubt there is some fantastic footage coming from this show, and I have to see it. The show is obviously based off of Jersey Shore, but is set in the city of Newcastle in the UK. First impressions from doing some digging: this cast is way better than the Jersey Shore. The girls on Jersey Shore absolutely suck; they’re not hot, and they’re not fun. These chicks from Geordie Shore are down for the damn cause. Let me do some brief introductions to the Geordie Shore cast.
First up is Jay, the “Situation” of their crew. Jay is down for the GTL lifestyle, says that finding a girlfriend at Geordie Shore would be a nightmare, and does two-a-days at the gym, every day.
If Jay is their Situation, Gaz is their Vinny. According to Snooki, Vinny has the king dong of the house. According to Gaz, he’s got the king dong of the crew and is more than happy to show everyone. He shows his soft side by keeping a journal, or a “scrapbook” if you will… a scrapbook of all the girls who stay over, and last he counted, he had 64 snapshots. Gotta love this Gaz dude; bangs girls, takes photos and moves on, not like Vinny who cries about getting stood up on dates.
Holly, 18 years old, who says she’s the most “real ‘fake’ person you’ll ever come across.” Sounds a lot like the sweetest bitch you’ll ever meet. We have found our Sammi. Fake, of course, is referring to her FF-sized breasts that she “tricked” her mother into buying. Holly is also the only cast member who is in a relationship. From the looks of this chick, that relationship is definitely not going to last long. And if she really is like Sammi, she’ll be breaking up with her boyfriend once per episode.
You were wondering when I’d tell you about their Snooki. So here’s Sophie, 21 years old, cute, sweet little girl…that loves to party. She frequently dances on tables and flashes her boobs… and they are some pretty nice boobs. She has a habit of catching feelings very quickly. She kinda looks like a Snooki; they would probably be BFFs!
Where Pauly D always has to be lookin fresh, James stays looking “mint”. He lives at home with his parents, but doesn’t mind being known as a “mummy’s boy.” However, that doesn’t stop him from bringing girls back to his home, and even “makes his bed with one corner folded down as an invitation for the ladies.” If there is anything you are going to take from this post, the corner folding move should probably be it. Like Pauly D, he loves styling his hair, and admitted he would “completely lose it if someone stole his hair straighteners.”
You can’t have a Jersey Shore type show and not have a girl that is willing to throw down without hesitation. We have J-Wow in the states, the UK has Vicky. Vicky is 23 years old, a feisty brunette hottie who often gets into fights and revels in the opportunity to throw a drink on a bitch. Vicki works at a call center, but her drinking habits often get in the way of her work life. She has 15 sick days, four no-shows and has arrived late 10 times. Sounds like my college attendance record.
I hate to even reference Angelina, because she was such a tool. But to try to connect two crazy bitches, Charlotte-Leticia owns the word “crazy.” But a big difference between the two crazies, is Angelina was a loser, Charlotte is fucking funny. She admitted that an ex-boyfriend “labeled her a psycho for breaking into his house and getting into bed with his dad.” Another fun-fact: to maintain her physique, she follows the “tin diet,” in which she only eats food that come from a tin. I’ll assume she has daddy issues, and I would personally like to get to know her better, maybe take her to dinner, eventually call her wifey.
Greg takes after our Ronnie; frequently hits the gym and drinks his protein shakes. He’s not looking for that total meat head look though, he says he doesn’t want that “fat neck” thing. Loves chicks with tans and big breasts… hmm sounds like he might be interested in Sammi.
My first impression is that this cast is cooler, hotter, and more interesting than the tired bunch from Jersey. I’m about ready for a new cast to move into the Shore House. I am going to keep a look out for footage from Geordie Shore, and when I find some good stuff, you know I’ll be throwing it up here quick. Stay tuned…