Today, June 15th, is National Man Day. Finally all of us Alpha Males around the world have a day that separates us from the rest. As the national spokesman for the day I have decided to fill the world in on what to expect from this epic holiday. Check out the 40 Manliest Things To Do on National Man Day.
- Grow a beard.
- Chop down a tree…with your bare hands.
- Rub two sticks from said tree together and start a fire.
- Get a Campus Diva to make you a bacon sandwich.
- Get a good old fashioned handjob.
- Tell her the best type of handjob is when she uses her mouth.
- Drink Budweiser Heavy.
- Take a stuff with the door open.
- Find Chuck Norris and give him a high five.
- Pound explode random strangers on the street.
- Start a fight club, but make sure not to invite Ed Norton – the friends he brings are weird.
- Eat a bloody steak.
- Walk into a pickup basketball game, grab the ball, and dunk…believe in the power of Man Day.
- Make extremely loud grunts while working out.
- Make your own beef jerky.
- Watch Rocky 1, 2, 3, and 4 (if you watch 5 it makes you less of a man, and 6 we don’t even speak about).
- Arm wrestle a bear.
- Watch the Shark Week DVD.
- Take credit for every single one of your farts throughout the day and be proud.
- Watch Game 7 of the Stanley Cup tonight.
- Get a tattoo of an animal mixed between a lion and eagle surrounded by fire.
- Wear a wool flannel shirt with a leather jacket over it…even if its hot outside (I know it itches but deal with it).
- BBQ an entire animal.
- Blast DMX from your car and bark at people driving next to you.
- Carve a small wooden figurine.
- Break something.
- Then immediately put it back together.
- If you get lost make sure to never ask for directions, you are a man and have GPS built into your brain.
- Drink nothing but Jack Daniels out of a pimp cup all day.
- Wear Mardi Gras beads throughout the day and expect girls to flash you.
- Play your favorite shooter or sports video game and don’t let anyone tell you it’s a waste of time.
- Capture a venomous snake, point at it and say “you remember me,” and then release it.
- Re-enact Sloth’s heroic rope-swinging scene from The Goonies (“heyyy youuu guysss!”
- Sleep in a cave.
- Dip your balls in A1 Steak Sauce.
- Do donuts in a Big Rig and pull the horn obnoxiously at midnight in front of your parents’ house.
- Cook up Moonshine in your bathtub and then blow a fireball with it.
- Walk around with a cane all day…even though nothing is wrong with your leg
- Pee on all the toilet seats in the girl’s bathroom…show them they have no business going to the bathroom today.
- Learn magic, bring Davey Crockett back from the dead, punch him in the face, antique him, then run away. Don’t worry, that old bastard can’t catch up to your unbeatable manliness.
