The Campus Socialite nominates Josh Hamilton as our douchebag of the week. The Texas MVP is the reason why there was no champagne at the Rangers’ ALDS celebration.
Now, I know you might be saying “that’s fudgeed up, the guy was an alcoholic,” but come on. It’s just champagne. They aren’t even really drinking it. Most of it just ends up on the floor, walls, and players. Perhaps getting sprayed with alcohol would remind the outfielder of his younger days, when he loved a good liquor shower.
So, instead of simply wasting a lot of sparkling wine, which would be much more symbolic of his triumph over alcoholism, the team celebrated with ginger ale. Gross. Who wants to get covered in soda? It’s all sticky and foamy. It’s really only good when you drink it. Sure, champagne would make you all sticky too, but it’s a high class kind of sticky that you enjoy in some sadistic way.
So Josh Hamilton, congratulations! Your newfound aversion to liquor has caused you to be the douchebag of the week! I hope the Rangers all enjoyed partying with soda the whole night!
Also, if you don’t remember what these posts are all about, here’s a reminder: Douchebag is in theaters now! Check out the movie’s Facebook and go see it!