Sexual innuendos are everywhere whether it be in a movie, an ad, or just a friend saying one. They are those dirty thoughts that usually have your friends telling you to get your mind outta the gutter. They are those awkward pick up lines that the guy by the keg used to try and get in your pants. They are even those jokes about Santa and the chimney you said to the rents while you were wrapping presents. In the Christmas spirit, I present to all the Campus Socialites out there some holiday sexual innuendos guaranteed to put you on Santa’s naughty list.
Apparently, Santa coming down the chimney now means he’s delivering a different kind of present.
-I hope Santa comes down your chimney and all over you
-Santa came last night. why is mom walking funny?
-If you’ve been a good girl, I’ll be coming down your chimney tonight
Santa’s all about who has been naughty or nice. But with these innuendos it’s pretty clear that the big man himself belongs on a certain list. Take a look for yourself.
Santa’s “sack.” This one sets itself up for all the dirty jokes that follow.
-My sack’s going to be empty when I’m finished with you!
-Lets see what Santa has in his sack for you.
–Santa’s sack is so big because he only comes once a year.
-Santa’s sack is really bulging.
Anything that has to do with Christmas can be made dirty. Really makes you rethink all those times you yelled, “SANTA CAME”.
-When Santa comes, he’s going to fill your stocking.
-Do you wanna ride on my sleigh?
-I think your balls are hanging too low.
-From here, you can’t tell if they’re artificial or real.
-I wanna jingle your bells.
Now for the queen of Christmas sexual innuendos, Lady Gaga. Nothing says have a Merry Christmas like Gaga’s song “Christmas Tree”. Girl is permanently on Santa’s naughty list with this one. Some lyrical gems included in the song are:
-Light me up put me on top, let’s Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la, la, la.
-The only place you’ll want to be is underneath my Christmas Tree.
-Take off my stocking we’re out spreading Christmas cheer.
With that, here’s hoping everyone has a happy holidays. Have fun, get drunk, celebrate, and try some of these out and let us know how they go!