Digital Recording Bionoculars. Yeah, how bout that? Sony just released the Dev-5’s, binoculars capable of a 20x Zoom, while maintaining full quality imaging, and yes, digitally recording everything they see. So here’s the burning question: besides the most obvious and sinister reason for owning a pair of recording binoculars, what use could a normal, non-stalker person have for these? Let’s try and think.
Sporting event? Modern sports arenas have giant monitors in every conceivable direction the eye could take. Unless, you need to see the contours in Albert Pujols package while he’s at the plate, the need for binoculars died with Mark McGwire’s Hall-Of-Fame hopes. As for recording the game, unless your name is Bill Belichick, I’m pretty sure ESPN has all your recording needs covered.
Maybe you can get into Bird Watching. Yep, then go to the bar that night and tell the first girl you see that the Ivory-Billed Woodpecker you saw this morning nearly brought you to tears. She’ll fuck you, really. Wait, I got it. You can become a college campus private investigator. Catch dude’s girlfriends cheating, spy on test questions. Just hope you don’t mind being paid in Natural Light.
Let’s face it. These things are made for stalking. Sex, showering, scantily-clad Saturday lounging. One, only one practical use. Sony has taken one big one step for mainstream technology right into the badlands of the Voyeur Porn and normal run-of-the-mill creepyness industry. See in, record, and take all the magic home for hours (minutes) of personal use. Hide yo kids, hide yo wives. The Sony Dev-5’s are here. Need a link? Find them yourself, weirdo.