Worst Hookups: A Father’s Day Gift He’ll Never Forget

The summer after senior year in high school my girlfriend and I snuck back to her place after a party. We were both really drunk. She told me her parents were asleep. We had sex once or twice a week at her house once they went to bed, so I wasn’t too worried about it.

We were in her room trying to get after it, but after several shots of jack and Captain Morgan, I was having trouble getting hard. It happens to the best of us. Well, she was drunk and horny and being kind of a bitch, so she stormed out of the room and told me to figure my stuff out while she got some water. Did I mention that she had Jack Johnson playing?

So there I am, in her bed, “”Sitting, Waiting, Wishing”” for my dick to perk up, basically jacking myself off. Her bed faced away from the door, so you could see the bed when you walked in, but you couldn’t see the door if you were lying on her bed. Especially if you were furiously wacking it.

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