5 Types of People You Come Across on Facebook

I’m convinced that out of all the social networking sites, Facebook houses the most annoying motherfuckers. Never mind the constantly changing privacy settings, annoying ads, changing homepage, strangers who use a/s/l as if it were an AOL chatroom, and the annoying people-you-may-know-but-don’t-really-like function. Facebook has turned into the MySpace of 2011. Read on to see the five most annoying type of people you come across on Facebook.

Diary User aka Whiner

I almost expect every status from this person to be prefaced with “Dear Diary.” Facebook is this person’s place to vent and give the world a play-by-play of their day. You just woke up? Cool. Your shower was good? Nice. On your way to work, eh? Found $5 on the sidewalk? *like* Oh, you ate Indian food for lunch and it gave you diarrhea? Thanks for sharing.


The Careerist

Ever wake up at 5 AM and decide to check your Facebook to see what you missed while you were asleep? This person might be the only one with the green circle on FB chat. He or she is also the only one who has updated six statuses since 3 in the morning about how hard they are working, how much sleep they are missing, and how many goals they have accomplished while the world is passed out. These self-aggrandizers are also the people who do status updates all day about grinding. Riddle me this, why do you have time to update statuses so frequently if you’re working so hard?


Relationship Person

Kate M. is in a relationship with Harry W. | Kate and Harry ended their relationship. | Kate is in a relationship and it’s complicated.

Kate is possibly the most annoying person on your news feed. Not only is her relationship status forever changing, she also creates status updates letting everyone know how happy she is to be with Harry, when things are going wrong in their relationship, how unhappy she is with Harry, and (when they’re broken up) how unfulfilling sex may be with Harry. If you’re lucky you might witness an epic battle of words between Kate and Harry. The drama is entertaining, but I wish Kate would move her private life out of public eyes.


The Status Game Player

Originally, the only games played on Facebook included those SIMS knockoff games. Now everyone loves to flood your timeline by playing those annoying ‘here’s what I think about you’ games. In one night alone my news feed was flooded with more than 50 updates about what person X thought about person Y. Here’s what I think: get a fucking life and get off my news feed.


The ‘Forever Alone’ Facebooker

Most people use Facebook for social purposes, but there’s always that one person in your feed whose only purpose on Facebook is games and quizzes. The Farmville bandwagon came to a full stop months ago, but that person is still farming away and sending gift requests. No, I don’t want to play Farmville, Cityville, or Aquarium. No I’m not interested in finding out how well I know my friends, how Black I am, the most perfect date for me, or when I will have children. There’s a social networking site for the ‘Forever Alone’ Facebookers. It’s called Tumblr.


At one point Facebook was the leading social networking site. Now I think it’s only good for picture stalking my ex. The types of Facebookers I listed above are just as lame as people who like their own status updates. I should’ve known it was going to the dogs when my mom got a Facebook.

Tags : FacebookSocial Media