A little thing about me that many people don’t know: I get the inside info on juicy scandals and celebrity smut way before most credible news source do. Some say it’s my incredible thirst for knowledge, some say I just have amazing intuition, and others accuse me of having an extremely overactive imagination. With that said, a reliable source (*cough* Justin Biebers’ personal undergarment buyer *cough*) has told me that he has been knocked up by his so-called “girlfriend” Selena Gomez.
What’s mind-boggling about this entire thing is not that Justin Bieber has ovaries, but the fact that Selena Gomez has a dick. I thought she was hot, does that make me gay?