Ready Player One: A College Guy’s Guide To Adult Toys

Ah, College. That moment in life, when playing solo, is a feat not easily accomplished.

With early classes and grueling school work, not to mention a restricted living situation and dynamic social environment, college is truly life-changing. For many, it’s another hurdle to overcome in the rite of passage into real life. The stress is ball-busting, and privacy is but a thing of the past.

Most college guys still require counsel on the subject of playing with yourself, and even more so on the intricate matter of sex toys (i.e., male milking machine).

If you’re most college guys, don’t fret. Just keep your hands out of your pants for a minute and read on.

The Pros of Playing Solo

It’s a generally accepted belief that men masturbate a lot more than women. It was validated in one study done in a sampling of men and women in the age groups of early adolescence and young adulthood, which revealed: “twice as many men as women had ever masturbated and the men who masturbated did so three times more frequently.”

In another study, results across age groups revealed more males (73.8%) reported to be masturbating than females (48.1%).

It goes without saying that guys have pretty much had extensive hands-on experience by the time of young adulthood (roughly college years).

Playing with yourself is normal and healthy. Others may tell you differently, but playing with yourself is perfectly safe.

It cannot make you infertile, cause acne, make hair grow on your palms, or make you blind. Like many scientific myths, these misconceptions about playing with yourself are rooted in fear and ignorance and are in no way helpful in your self-actualization.

Truth be told, playing with yourself is an enduring component of sexuality, and it is integral to normal sexual development. It can be good for you, and here are some reasons why:

  • Playing with yourself is safe. Unless you’re using unwashed hands or an unsanitary object, playing with yourself cannot cause disease or infection. It carries no risk of pregnancy or sexually transmitted disease (STD).
  • Playing with yourself is an opportunity to get to know your body and explore your desires. Knowing yourself and what you want can boost your confidence. This can be empowering and will help improve your self-esteem and body image.
  • Playing with yourself can lower stress and help you relax, thereby helping you sleep better.
  • Playing with yourself can help you achieve orgasm(s), which releases endorphins–the feel-good chemicals that can be a natural painkiller.
  • Playing with yourself is a simulation of sex. It relieves your sexual urges and, at the same time, prepares you for the actual sexual act with another person.

With these many benefits, playing with yourself could easily be part of your college routine!

Ready Your Gears

One report suggests that a man’s urge to ejaculate is much stronger and more frequent than his desire for sex itself. As such, playing with yourself is often a means of merely ejaculating, not a means of replacing sex.

This is especially true among college guys whose time-constrained to do more than quick and convenient satiation of their sexual appetite.

Some may be blessed with a partner to do the deed with. Still, admittedly, with an essay and accounting spreadsheet due, there’s almost always barely time to do much else than a quick-release (i.e., ejaculation).

So how to do this, you probably wonder.

Fortunately, you are born at a day and age when nifty devices are finally available to aid you in your solo play. Your grandfather in younger years needed to rely solely on their hands. However, there is now a wide variety of sex toys you can choose from—from the highly sophisticated and powerful ones to break the bank with to the simple and still quite effective gears that will barely hurt your beer budget.

Sex toys can certainly ramp up your solo play so you can enjoy a full session during recess or on a short excursion to the communal bathroom. Heck, with a top-notch little device at your disposal, you can even work one in at the back seat of your sleepy class.

There are prostate stimulators and anal beads if you wish for some backdoor adventure. Then there’s the wide selection of elaborate male milking machines for the potent ejaculation you crave.

There are even toys for guys who have a hard time getting it up. These toys are called penis pumps or vacuum constrictions devices. They work by drawing blood to the penis, and the blood is locked in using a constriction ring worn around the base, allowing the user to achieve and sustain an erection.

There’s almost always a sex toy available for your every need. You need only to identify what it is to be able to choose the appropriate toy for you.


College life is stressful. A release from all the stressors and stresses is but a welcome respite.

Playing with yourself allows for some quality “you” time when you can indulge yourself in some good, ol’ self-love. And when it comes to self-love, pleasure isn’t just for fun–it’s self-care. So get your gears ready and game on.

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