By: Chhaya Néné
At some point we have all been clubbing. We get all dressed up, put on that perfume, do our hair, pick our jewelry, pick out the perfect shoes and we know we look great. There’s pre-gaming, tons of pictures, and money for the club. The music is bumping and you’re feeling it, dancing and looking fantastic and then you’re approached by one of the seven guys you will meet when you’re at the club.
Mr. Touchy Feely
This is the guy that seems to live South of the Border. His hands, never stay at your hips, they’re either above or below. You find your way away from him whether it’s you pushing him away or using the look. You know the look. The one where you glare at your girlfriends and know they must come over and dance you away from the creepy guy.
Yet somehow, that keeps finding you no matter what locations you move to. He gives you that creepy smile and your skin just crawls. You wonder how this guy even got into the club he’s so gross.
The Nice Guy
This is the guy that taps girls’ shoulders and asks her sweetly if she wants to dance. If she refuses, he smiles says it’s okay and walks away without any choice words or looks. He’s dancing in his guy group of friends, and he’s okay. If he wants to sit and sees a girl looking for a place to sit down, he gladly gives his seat to her. He’s not out asking for numbers or looking for a piece of ass, he’s there to have a good time. You may even strike up good conversation with him.
The Awkward Dancer
This is the guy that can’t keep a rhythm to save his life. He asked you to dance, and you caved, but it’s like he has two left feet. He seems like a sweet guy so you feel bad and you keep dancing but you end up getting hurt by his flying elbows and clumsy feet. You end up counting down the seconds till the song is up, and you run away quickly.
Mr. Douche
This is the guy who’s dressed in a button down shirt with his buttons opened down to his chest. His hair is gelled and he’s posted up against the wall checking out the girls that pass by. He thinks he can get any girl so if he asks you to dance, you had better say yes, he’s God’s gift. He has that stupid grin on his face until you turn him down and then he calls you a bitch for not wanting to dance all over him.
Mr. Smooth
This is the guy that looks fantastic when he dances, and when he asks you to dance, you’re thrilled. He can keep a rhythm and you want to dance with him all night! He’s respectful and even says funny things in your ear. When you guys dance, you own the floor and everyone is jealous. Why aren’t there more guys like this at the club?
The 40-year-old
Yep, these are the random old men that are at the bar, getting wasted and watching the girls as they walk by. The drunker they get, the more daring they get… and then it happens, one of them has asked you to dance. He holds your hand and politely asks you if you will join him for a dance. You either say no and run away or you feel bad and dance as long as you waltz or something.
Mr. Can I Take you Home
This guy knows from the moment he sees you he is going to take you home. He also seems to think this for every girl he sees. When you deny him from going home with him that night, he continues to flirt with you, asks for your number, and texts you from the moment you leave the club till the next day, telling you guys should hang out sometime, he can make you dinner at his place. Don’t be naïve… he wants you in bed. Chances are if he’s hounding every girl at the club he probably has something. Don’t do it.
